Faith and Trust

2017… I have high hopes for you. 2016 was a beautiful yet harsh year. We made many leaps of faith and are still in the middle of them. We begin this year in limbo… awaiting our lives to find their path. However, our faith has remained strong, in fact, for me it has grown immensely. My trust in our Father has solidified. I was quite unaware at how little trust I ever felt the need to put in Him before. We have basically always been financially stable and I never had to think about it. Oh, I always thanked Him for our blessings, but without really understanding every one of them. Now, when I pray and thank Him for being able to feed my family, for our health, for a roof over our heads, my eyes tear up. God is truly leading us right now, He is making sure we don’t get lost and keeping our heads above water. I see Gods hand in everything. And I am learning to be patient and trust in His timing.

But…

Off and on, I have these intense feelings of inadequacy. I miss my life in Hawaii. And miss my amazing, loyal clientele and friends. I miss running a full time business and being an artist. And I miss having it all… to be honest, sometimes I wonder who I am if I’m not a photographer? And as I lie here in bed, typing away my thoughts, I realize that I may, in fact, be the only person to read them. After all, no one knows I have a blog, I have no clientele since my move and I’m not sure who cares enough to look.

Dreams

I have dreams of Josh’s new job as a law enforcement officer, of our new home- wherever it may be that they station us, of my new studio- whenever we move and I can actually advertise and relaunch one. I daydream of these things every single day viagra femenino… then I look at my children, my three blessings from above, fearfully and wonderfully made and I weep. How blessed I am- if I never book another client again, if know one ever knows who I am and if all I end up being remembered  for is being wife and mommy- I can thank God with every fiber of my being… because this family I was entrusted with, they are worth all of me. And if God blesses me with another successful business here in Texas, it will just be the cherry on top. I pray for his blessing. I pray for his guidance, but I realize that His timing is perfect and He may just be teaching me a lesson in faith.

And I am open to learning it.